These ninjas just started a Star Wars

I'm glad we live in an age where I don't have to rely on neck-lulz George Lucas for a sweet-ass lightsaber fight. With ninjas.

The Three Stooges by the Farrelly Bros

This looks terrible in so many ways and of course I will see it in every possible format.

Watch the Throne by IFC

It's like muthaf*cking Shakespeare. That sh*t cray.

Community via Parks & Rec

Hell to the Yes.

Library of the Early Mind Trailer

Trailer: 'Library of the Early Mind' from Backspace Productions on Vimeo.

This.

Looks.

Amazing.

On Joe Paterno

I am not going to write the post you want me to write. I am going to try to explain something about a man that few people really seemed to care to hear today.

What Joe Paterno did was wrong. He should have talked and talked and talked until he found someone who listened. And his silence put other kids at risk. End of story.

But I'm not buying the narrative that Joe Paterno is a Bond villain. He's not. It's easy to run with that narrative and tear down his legacy at Penn State with a few cheap jabs while we ignore what terrible people we all are. People have been doing it on twitter and the blogosphere for the past 24 hours. And I'm sure they've been doing it on the TV too, but I got rid of that damn box and am never going back there for my source of news.

But on the web there were a million articles like this today. And I don't mean to pick on Jill for any particular reason. What she said here just sums up what's being said all across the internet:

I know you all like football. I know a lot of people like football. I know it’s fun and culturally important and for some reason people identify incredibly strongly with Their Team, many to unhealthy levels. But it’s football. It is just football. Feeling personally devastated because someone you trusted made a really terrible decision is one thing; being personally devastated because your identity is so wrapped up in your team that the idea of any member of that team being punished for covering up child rape strikes you as fundamentally unfair is another thing. It is something that should make you seriously reconsider your identity and your values. Being really good at coaching football doesn’t absolve you from looking the other way when you hear about child rape; it doesn’t absolve you from encouraging others not to report child rape to the police.

There's truth here, but there's also so much misunderstanding. Misunderstanding about why some people might stick up for Joe Paterno. The man helped MAKE Penn State University with his football program. It's why he is (or was) the only 80-something NCAA Div I football coach. In an exchange between Steve Inskeep and Tom Goldman this morning on NPR, you get a sense of what Paterno's legacy could have been were it not for this scandal, and why students who had never met this man took the streets last night in protest:

INSKEEP: It sounds like even these students who, as you said, were far too young to remember some of his best seasons really identified with this guy.

GOLDMAN: Well, they did. And you know, whether it was, you know, this goal of his to make the university better or whether it was just this great allegiance to a storied football program, it's a combination of things. The football program over the years became the embodiment of the school slogan: success with honor. Penn State won and the players graduated. A former academic liaison to the football team remembers being constantly hounded by Paterno. How is this player do in English class? Did that player pass the science test? And Paterno and Penn State were able to avoid major academic or recruiting scandals. They really became the envy of Division I programs as far as doing things right.

It's impossible to imagine where Penn State would be today without Joe Paterno. Not the football program, the entire university. So many people were upset today because of the student protests, and assumed it was a protest about the firing of a football coach. They couldn't have been more wrong. People were upset because of the firing of an institutional father figure, which is exactly what JoePa is/was to this community. You don't understand it? Fine. That's okay. But don't pretend you have a better grip on the situation and tell these people that their feelings are invalid, or worse, inhuman, and that they ought to be ashamed of their identity and their values.

Because they were reacting the only way they knew how -- with confusion, with sadness, with anger. Some probably misdirected from JoePa himself to the university who fired him.

I'm going to stop now, because I hope I've made a small point here. I've had this post in my head all day, but I didn't put it down until I read Joe Posnanski's essay on Joe Paterno earlier tonight. For those of you who don't know, Posnanski writes for Sports Illustrated, has a brilliant mind, could have been a journo for just about anyone/anything, but decided to go into sports journalism. And he's also been working on a biography about Joe Paterno. If you need to read one more article on the scandal before you begin your three-day weekend and try to forget this whole mess, let it be this article. You can actually hear Posnanski's heart breaking mid-way through. Unlike the write-by-numbers reactionary pieces you've been reading all day, this had to have been an incredibly difficult piece to write. And the web is better for it.

My Theme Song, My Fight Song -- Why Can't It Be Christmastime All Year

I don't follow this "you can't start Christmas before Thanksgiving" meme. I mean, really people, really? You're really going to pretend that a euphemised holiday that makes us feel better for pillaging an entire continent of native people in our conquest west deserves November while we relegate perhaps the most awesome of holidays to a mere 25 days?

I mean, look. If you want to ignore the historical and cultural realities of the history of Thanksgiving, fine. Do that. Whatever. I don't care. But don't pretend FOR A SECOND that Thanksgiving is even in the same BALLPARK as Christmas -- a holiday that somehow deftly blends the paganism of Yuletide, the secularism of the Winter Solstice, and the sacrament of the birth of Christ. Christmas is packed with the powerful symbols, from the evergreen tree to the shining star, from mistletoe to ivy, from holly to stockings, bells to reindeer, from the manger to the yule log. (I'll stop now. You get the idea.) And those symbols deserve to be unpacked and explored all year round if need be.

What really amazes me -- and I realize that this is turning into something longer than originally intended -- but what really amazes me is that Christmas as we know it today has not one, but THREE, mythic founding-figures in Father Christmas, Saint Nicholas, and Santa Claus, each with their own rich, sometimes-Christian, sometime-pagan histories. (And perhaps coincidentally, perhaps not, a vaguely Trinitarian relationship -- as in Father, Saint and Spirit of Christmas.) So even if you don't want to recognize Jesus as anything special, its multifaceted history still gives special meaning to the Christmas season.

But I get it. Christmas has become so commercialized that we are trained to start thinking of purchasing commodities as soon as the Halloween decorations are put away. But Christmas is not, historically, a commercial holiday. In fact, it's only when we give into the idea that we, as consumers, are obligated, as consumers, to buy buy buy spend spend spend, as consumers, that we run into this problem. But that's defeatism. We are not, essentially, consumers in this season. We are human beings, celebrating the longest night of the year, however we define it in its essence. And if we truly believe there is something special about Christmas, there is no earthly reason not to start a bit early, not to enjoy this beautiful season to its fullest, and throw off the yoke of materialism as some fleeting trend that humanity was temporarily enamored with, like planking. Or the Steve Miller Band.

Or you can go on pretending a turkey (which you can eat anytime) and giving thanks (which you can do any time) deserve a whole month. Pffffft.

30 Rock Appreciation Day

Seriously one of the best writing staffs on TV. Missing it big time.



Hey Tina, have your baby already and get back on my television. Because it's all about me.

A Carving Post

Last year I spent some time on the nets finding these sweet jack-o'-lantern ideas. This year, I'm gonna highlight the best of my friends. I love just reposting other people's stuff. It's so much easier than scooping the guts out myself.

Lindsay: I especially like the one on the right, a jack o' lantern carved into a jack o' lantern.

Meredith: It's a diamond, for reasons that make sense if you know her.

Lisa: Love that bat.

Katie: Wicked grins

Jason: A Lion's fan. Nobody's perfect.

Blah blah blah blah MUPPETS

Frank Oz, after Kerri Strug Yoda in Episode II, you have no right to criticize ANYTHING. This film looks awesome.

ALL OF THE AWARDS!

I want baby hamsters! Everywhere and all the time, ALL OF THE BABY HAMSTERS!

TGIS(am)

With Cougar Town and 30 Rock out until midseason, this in my new Saturday morning comedy block. I've watched Community --> Parks & Rec --> The Office in that exact order for two years now. It's set in stone. Also, I may have just outgeeked the internet with rigidity of that statement.

Peter Bjorn John and Foster

While I've enjoyed hearing Foster the Kid's "Pumped Up Kicks" this summer on the radio, it always makes me want to listen to these guys:



So thanks, Mark Foster, for reminding me about Peter Bjorn and John!

MUPPETS!.!>!

Excited. As. F*ck.

Kitties Selling Things for Fun and Profit

French kittens are clearly superior to American ones. Clearly.

The Big Year, aka "Eat Pray Love for Boys"

This looks terrible / I want to see it so bad.

Needs more Freaks and Geeks

I got a fever, and the only prescription is more Apatow.

Jay-Z and Kanye - Otis [VIDEO]

Jay And 'Ye are back. Finally some mainstream hip-hop from someone other than Jimmy from Degrassi.

Also, judiciously sampling my favorite Otis Redding track? SOLD!

Rebecca Black, making paper, having her moment [VIDEO]

I have absolutely no ill will towards Rebecca Black. In fact, she's fantastic. Pop radio is FILLED with mediocre singers these days, who get by on Image and Controversy rather than actual, you know, talent. Black just seems like a normal teenager with a normal voice having a great time. If you genuinely have a problem with that, and you're not principled enough to start a straight-edge punk band or join a hippie commune, get a life.

Hugo Trailer [VIDEO]

Those post-Potter blues got you down? Martin Scorsese, of all people, is here for you.

Happiness of the Day: Fleetwood Mac - I Don't Want to Know

Officially my favorite song to play on the guitar as of today. You will never not like this song.

Lulu and the Lampshades Cover [VIDEO]

Better than the original. Oh, and I'm in weblove.

Happy 4th [VIDEO]

In honor of our founders, here's a bunch of stuff blowing up in slow motion.



(via popsci)

Dawn Summers FAQ

I'm all cute and whiny. Exactly what Season 5 needs!

(Because I googled this and nothing came up. For EAS, and really anyone else who was wondering. Some spoilers, obvs. But mostly from the first half of Season 5.) 

*****

Q. So who is Dawn Summers?

A. Dawn is Buffy's little sister, dummy.

Q. ....

A. Oh, you've only watched seasons 1-4? Then Dawn doesn't exist yet.

Q. Okay.

A. Right.

Q. So where the hell does Dawn come from?

A. Now you're asking the right question. Dawn is a mystical ball of energy known as the Key, shaped into the body and brains of a thirteen year old girl. A bunch of mystic monks did this to protect her from Glory or Glorificus or the lamest big bad Buffy has ever seen and that's saying something (re: Adam).

I really miss Pushing Daisies right about now...

Q. A bunch of monks?

A. Yes. Czech monks. They decide to hide the Key in plain sight under the protection of the slayer.

Q. From Glory.

A. Yes, because if Glory had the key, she could open up a gateway to her home dimension.

Q. And this is bad because?

A. Come on, wiseacre, it's been four or five years since I watched Season 5. How am I supposed to remember? It's just bad. Because Joss says so.

Q. So why do Buffy, Joyce and the Scoobies suddenly think Dawn has been around for forever at the beginning of Season 5?

A. Magic!

Q. Really?

A. Yes, really. The monks are bad-ass at magic, and literally rewrite everyone's memories, including everyone on Angel, that other series, so that they all remember Dawn as being around as Buffy's kid sister forever and ever amen.

Don't worry, Joyce. It'll never make perfect sense. Just go with it.

Q. Why?

A. I don't understand the question.

Q. Why don't the monks just go to Buffy and say, hey, here's a thirteen year old girl who could unlock this other dimension that Glory's trying to get into, so do us a solid and keep her safe?

A. Good question.

Q. I know.

A. So....That would make sense, but then we wouldn't have a bunch of episodes to kick off Season 5 where every viewer is all like, what the hell is going on? Who is this whiny little brat? What the frak is happening to my vampire soap?!?!?

Q. So Joss did it to piss people off.

A. Well, that probably wasn't his intention....

Q. But it did piss people off.

A. Yeaaaah. It did. Joss must have thought it'd be a BIG MYSTERY that everyone and their auntie and TWoP would be buzzing about. Instead, people hated Dawn because she whined alot.

Would you like some cheese? For your whine?! Get it!?!?

Q. But she's thirteen.

A. You're absolutely right! She's thirteen, she has no friends, her sister the slayer ignores her, just like everyone else, so yeah, she whines. Alot. Like a teenager.

Q. And no one told Joss this was a bad idea?

A. To be fair, she plays the kid sister part but really well. But combine that with the whole mystery that gets annoying real fast and all the whinyness, and yeah, it was kind of a bad idea, I guess.

Q. But wait, also, if Buffy doesn't know Dawn's the Key, how's she supposed to know to protect her from Glory?

A. She doesn't. The monks really blew it there. Or Joss. Six of one, I suppose.

Q. And Glory is lame?

A. Oh, sweet Jesus, yes she's lame.

Q. But you like Dawn?

A. I do. Season 5 could have been soooo boring, like a terrible, terrible continuation of Season 4 boring. Dawn, for all her whinyness and stupid mysteriousness, kind of made the show fun again for a while. She's kind of like Angel. Except for the opposite of everything that was Angel. So not like Angel at all. But she serves a purpose like Angel.

Q. Which is?

A. Sort of the outsider. Sort of a motivator for Buffy that she lacked during Season 4. Sort of the reason for Buffy to do what she does during the Season 5 finale.

Q. SPOILERS!

A. Sorry, Sweetie.

If I could write a fan fic for you on LJ, I totes would. Sister besties!

Q. ...So Joss was right to add her?

A. In my opinion, absolutely yes. Although the gigantic plot holes with the stupid monks and the memory magic and the dumb, dumb Glory, who really didn't need the Key anyways because people on Buffy are ALWAYS opening portals to other dimensions all willy-nilly and why would they need THIS SPECIFIC KEY and what have you make it hard to realize it at the time. But yes. I like Dawnie.

Q. .....

A. Right.

Q. So does it work?

A. It works if you let it work. If you just accept it. Magic. All that jazz.

Q. Okay, I'm not totally convinced.

A. Trachtenberg turns out really hot, too.

This is my really hot look. BOOSH!

Q. Sold.

A. Magic!

Football Cops, starring the Manning Bros. [VIDEO]

I want this to be real so very, very bad. I'd actually rather see 16 good episodes of this than the full NFL season.

Don't hurt me, NFL fans who hate funny things.

Paranoid Android, by You [VIDEO]

I lost track of Radiohead six or seven years ago when I just stopped caring about listening to every pop album in existence. I do still like them, and this great, great video reminds me why. It's basically a recreation of Paranoid Android from fan covers posted to YouTube. The freak-out right before the 3 minute mark is still there and it is STILL awesome. Congrats internet, you done a good job today.

(via The Daily What)

Father's Day Boogie

It's dad's day, dad's day, gotta get down on dad's day.

E for Effort!

One of my favorites. Larry David and co. are brilliant.

(And coming back July 10th.)

They don't make 'em like they used to

Thanks, YouTube gods. I can't believe I spent my first 25 years of life without this beautiful website.

X-Men First Class....Actually Awesome

Original X-Men art by Josh Siegel

So a few months ago I mentioned how underwhelmed I was by this film. As a fanboy, I stand by that initial assessment -- some of the character selections by Matt Vaughan and co. are way too random. But about a month ago, the early reviews started rolling in, and they were almost all positive. Now after seeing it, I understand the randomness of the cast, which needed a couple of unknowns for a major plot point about halfway into the film. (Without getting too spoilery, you couldn't have, say, Bobby Drake and Warren Worthington perform the same functions as Darwin and Angel/Pixie and not piss off half your audience. So I get it now.) So while there are also some plot points and character backstories that don't jive with the previous films -- like Raven growing up with Charles -- it doesn't really matter, because as a standalone film, I couldn't have asked for a better X-Men story.

The film itself is fantastic. And I can only say that about four other previous Marvel/DC films. It doesn't make sense in the grander X-Men story, which is fine because the film franchise badly needed a reboot. Some of the characters weren't fleshed out well, but that's okay too because they weren't the focus. This was a story about Erik and Charles, and Fassbender and McAvoy are brilliant in their respective roles. The action scenes are mostly understated, in a way that wasn't in Brett Ratner's vocabulary, and that tend to focus on the characters and not on the CGI. You can tell that everyone on screen is having fun, because they're playing comic book characters AND acting in a film that doesn't suck, which is a rare thing these days. And the story-editing is very crisp, at little jarring at first, but once you get used to it moves the action right along. The training montage alone, straight out of a 70s film editing course, is worth the price of admission.

All in all, a fantastic action film, that only overreaches at the end. But still manages to pull it all together by the credits. It's gotten me and a whole bunch of others excited about this franchise again, I'm sure to the utter delight of Marvel and 20th Century Fox, who more than likely plan on using this cast for a second trilogy if at all possible.

My one big complaint -- no stinger after the credits. Hasn't Vaughan seen a Marvel movie before?

Joe Vaux and a bunch of monsters

Discovery, part of a series of monster works by Joe Vaux. More can be found on Copro's website, or Joe's page (which is a little noisy).

(Found via Super Punch)

Eco Music Fest Poster

Not a big fan of the Disco Biscuits, but can't get over how ridiculous and awesome this poster is.

....And RJD2 seems kind of out of place, sonically speaking, at least.

Pics of the Day -- Pooh, Draco and Diana

Three great picture finds from today.

Someone's having fun with T-shirt design. (via Bleeding Cool)

I am 80 years old now, and ready for this to all be over. (via Boom Tron)

Context is overrated. (via Super Punch)

50 / 50

I'm not sure what to make of this film. Yet. It could be good. It could be average. It could be brilliant. Whatever it is, I'm intrigued.

So Normal

I want this person to live a normal life. That is my Memorial Day wish. And maybe a new bike. That would be cool, too.

Whoa whoa whoa wait wait wait stop.

Four months off. I stayed away from Google reader for four months. Now the Hunger Games is nearly a movie, Pitchfork's reviewed a thousand albums, and Mark Waid's writing Daredevil. But most importantly....

For those of you who have not seen these, I'll not be the spoiler. But they are, quite simply, fantastico.

Green With Envy



The Fuzzy Pack



BOOYAH CITY!

This Dog Looks Like Falcor....or a wee tiny man in a dog costume

Creeee-py.

(via Best Week Ever)

Catching Up: X-Men First Class

I have never been less excited for a superhero movie. Completely underwhelmed and nonplussed, even with the inspired casting of James McAvoy as Prof X. (Go buy/rent Shameless S1!)

Catching Up: Jennifer Perlmutter & All Things Go

(via 2modern)

Stunning art work from Jennifer Perlmutter.

(Also, completely random and entirely off-base note, I'm not sure if certain folks should be allowed to describe their own work. B/c then things like this happen. Why not throw a bone to their struggling writer friends?)

"Inspired by a Sufjan Stevens lyric, this new series is a visual journal of rebirth and transformation. Through collage of old paper that has been painted or treated in some way, I create a maelstrom of debris and chaos. The marks around the shape transform the dark emotion and make a bridge into the light and calm. Throughout, the tension between extremes remains."

Catching Up: Rubber

This is why, most likely, we are friends. Because I bring you movie trailers for films about sentient (possibly murderous) tires.



Well done, internet, for bringing this to our attention.

(h/t to Cinematical)

Catching Up: Oh Brilliant

UK Teaser Poster for Winnie the Pooh (released over there a few weeks before we get in the Americas)

Catching Up: Besties!

You have to admit, it would be pretty cool if they were BFFs.

 (T minus 87 minutes...)

Catching Up: Doctor Who

It will be a sad day when Matt Smith or Karen Gillan leave this series. Joss Whedon's formula perfected: banter, banter, Giles, fight.



(Only 2:10 hrs:sec left in the airport!)