Ellen Page is way too hot for your misguided idea of sexy

The Ellen Page Inception Look: Asexual Chic (NY Magazine)

For what it's worth, asexual or not, Ellen Page is gorgeous no matter what she's dressed in. Just because she's not outfitted like she got lost on her way to an old noir (i.e., Marion Cotillard) in Nolan's latest flick, doesn't mean she's not easy on the eyes.

Come on, shoddy online columns trying to steer eyeballs to pieces that have no journalistic/aesthetic/logical merit, get your act together. Yeah, she's not dressed like Liz Taylor circa 1955. But she's no less beautiful (or dare we say it, sexy?) because of it.

Miss Page responds to her detractors

Breaking News: Coke makes sugary drinks!!!

Vitaminwater Isn't Healthy, Rules Federal Judge

ZOMG! Vitaminwater is really just flat Coca-Cola! I guess this is news. Another "healthy" drink with too much sugary corn-syrupy content to actually be healthy. Don't get me wrong. I love Coke. But I also love water. Real water. From a tap. Occasionally via a Brita filter. But whatevs. Just drink your over-sugared lies and be done with it.



Via Super Punch

That is quite the cast...

For your consideration: The Avengers

This has disaster written all over it, as Whedon's best works are those created by Joss and Joss alone (O Dollhouse, you had your chance, you blew it), but I will be following every little scrap of info about this movie from now until whenever it should hit theatres.

Additionally, Jeremy Renner looks like he just won the lottery. Love it.

Pic courtesy of CBR and literally all the internets.

Happy Town Aerobics

One, here is a clip from the most/moster/mostest ridiculous show on television that was recently canceled making it actually not on television anymore. (Still on Hulu!) It is called Happy Town. From the creators of October Road, Fastlane and the US version of Life on Mars (all terrible in their own unique ways). The millions of dollars that were wasted getting this piece of donkey dung from concept to smallscreen were worth it, however, all because of this:



That's the sound a series makes when it know it's getting canceled awesome.

Two, if that wasn't enough, here is a clip of Peter Dale, dancing his pants off, in the 1989 National Aerobics Championship, via Best Week Ever. I solemnly swear to watch this clip every morning for the next five days immediately after waking up, then report back to you how totally awesome my week was because of it. You think I am kidding. I am not.



Also, back to Happy Town. Amy Acker ought to have been the lead -- either Sheriff Incompetent or Brian Michael Hackett -- because, let's face it, she is drop dead gorgeous and could act circles around this show. You think that's hyperbole?

BOOM goes the dynamite!

this mess

Yes, I realize this blog is a mess. The header is crap. The template hurts my eyes. The sidebar is unreadable. Blah-blah-bitty blah. I am currently working towards a MFA/PhD in Making Awesome Blogs, but until then, just subscribe via Google Reader. Here is a (rather long) video of a dancing baby to tide you over:



Better?

Just Like the Water

After literally months and months of the older kids at the club blasting Lil Wayne and Drake (or Jimmy from Degrassi), this track is one of the most beautiful and delicious things I've heard all year long. Thank you, baby Jesus, for Big Boi.

Kitchen Raps

It's like Rope, but with Brown People. Also, better.

On Flopping

From McCovey Chronicles, one of my favorite baseball blogs, and my all-time favorite San Francisco Giants webpage evah:

Also, I got a good idea while watching another sporting event today. On every inside pitch, the Giant hitters should pretend they got hit. And when the umpire tells the hitter to get up because he doesn’t believe the Giants’ hitter was really hit by the pitch, the hitter should writhe in pain even more as if he was hit by the ball from Phantasm, with spikes and auger drills jutting out of it. This should happen after every inside pitch. I think it could give the Giants two or three extra base runners each game.

Just a thought.

Take that, Europe! Schooled in the arts of honesty AND humor. America! Fuck yeah!



Did you expect something different?

Chris Brown photoshop AND sweet vid courtesy of BWE.

Panba Bears and Double Rainbows

No two ways about it, auto-tune is the best thing to happen to planet earth since baby pandas begin walking around with actual human babies inside of them. Which makes Schmoyoho's DOUBLE RAINBOW SONG!! the best thing on computer screens to be screened by computers and humans since human screenings on giant screens of Human Giant. Intense. Or as Jacob Miles would say, in-tents.

LeBron James: A Case Study in Why Salary Caps Don't Work

My new scientific findings, to be published tonight on Twitter, by every NBA fan on the planet not located in Miami.

How a freaking vampire should freaking look. Freaking!

Via Super Punch

What?

Prince, via Pitchfork, via the Daily Mirror:

"The Internet is completely over. I don't see why I should give my new music to iTunes or anyone else. They won't pay me an advance for it and then they get angry when they can't get it. The Internet's like MTV. At one time MTV was hip and suddenly it became outdated. They just fill your head with numbers and that can't be good for you."

To which I respond, via the cast of Lost:


And that's just the first three seasons.

On how I love things flavored like pizza

Not so much an essay as a simple statement of fact. Sometimes pizza flavor is better than actual pizza.

Your mind = blown.